Honey, we’re going to use concrete floors

First of all, thanks to the guys at Perfect Concrete Floors for letting me post this letter on their blog. Diplomatic relations with the wife are at a low point and I want to express my views HERE, where I think I can get some professional validation, before letting her know that, as far as I’m concerned, marble, tile, and hardwood are out. Some background: We are remodeling our house. One of the things we really hate about it (which is by the beach in Santa Cruz, CA) is the fact it has carpet: Carpet + beach + kids + kids friends + pets + morning humidity + wife will not clean carpet = I hate carpet.

Wife wants marble, tile, or hardwood. Honey, this is my way of telling you that we are going to go with concrete. Before you shut the laptop and rush over to terminate my life-force wherever it may be, I implore you to at least read to the end of the post:

You and I know we both have many choices for flooring. I want to do concrete with a nice chemical stain and die, as well as a light, dye wash. The stain will be permanent, and from what I’ve read, the acid stain reacts with the hydrated “line” (which is calcium hydroxide) and will never wear away. The dyes are very fine and will stain the entire concrete…it’s a onetime thing, apparently, requiring no maintenance.

Which is what brings me to one of my main points: NO MAINTENANCE

Now I know that by now, you have automatically developed a laundry list of reasons why there’s no way you would ever go with concrete.  This time, however, you will not be able to beat me with your argument ninjutsu. I have planned for every possible argument you can make and have already countered your Shaolin Bear style with my invincible, well-researched Wu-Tang Google/Wikipedia Monkey Style. Let me save you the trouble of a real argument, and just walk us through the first few rounds of this fight:

You: “We can’t afford it.”

Me:” It’s not the cheapest option upfront but ANY other flooring option besides the most expensive one will require A LOT of maintenance over the year.  Given the fact that our home has become a de facto, youth community center, a trend that shows no promise of stopping, I would like a floor that does not have to be replaced every 2 years like the hardwood or carpet would. SO, given the additional savings from not having to replace/repair the floors, I think we are saving money. “

You: “Concrete is dangerous, what if one of the kids slips and falls.”

Me:  “Sure, concrete is not soft. Neither is hardwood or anything else besides carpet which we already agreed we won’t be doing carpet again. We can figure out places where the kids might slip and put down some nice rugs, as these are going to be way easier to clean and we can always replace them cheaply.  We won’t make it TOO smooth so that the kids won’t slip in their socks.”

You: “We don’t know anyone that does concrete work.”

Me: “Actually, I think I am going to be able to find someone that specializes in chemical stains and dies. I will make sure they have credentials and experience.”

You: “Ok, fine, you win. But I’m not happy about this…”

Me: “Not so fast! 1) You know how you’re always complaining about allergies in the spring? Well there is no way that concrete will hold the same amount of pollen, pet hair, dust mites, and other stuff that clogs up your nose. 2) You can actually get creative with this floor in a way you could not with any other floor choice. Concrete can hold anything. So… all those little nick-knacks and souvenirs you bought when we were in Thailand, that you never used for anything? You can do a Thailand-themed basement by embedding some of the flat icons into the cement. We can get the kids to do hand prints in the playroom. Maybe the dog can walk across it? There are some cool options for customizing…hopefully you will help!”

Okay…so our conversation probably won’t go THIS smoothly but a guy can dream, right? Thanks for letting me post this letter on your blog, guys, and let me know if anyone has tips for a homeowner in the comments section. By the way, I am not a do-it-yourselfer so any tips should keep that in mind.


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